


The Voices in My Head

by He_Who_is_Me



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-26 19:41:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5017867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/He_Who_is_Me/pseuds/He_Who_is_Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Harry wasn't alone in his Cupboard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright here is my first attempt at a Humor fic, As always mega props to my beta reader Josie Raine, without whom this story would not exist.
> 
> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, this story belongs to me.

If you asked anyone on Privet Drive. the Dursley’s were a perfectly respectable family. Vernon Dursley was a manager of a highly regarded company. Petunia Dursley was famous across the neighborhood for her wonderful cooking and immaculate house. Their son was, of course, the most adorable, well-behaved little thing in the world. Now if you asked anybody normal, Vernon was an idiotic and cruel man who vaguely resembled a walrus, Petunia was a long necked eavesdropping shrew, and baby Dudley was a screeching horror who had sent three babysitters into intense therapy. But that is neither here nor there. No the point of our story is a child not born in the dull, white-washed world of Privet Drive. This boy, Harry James Potter by name, would be dumped on the Dursley’s doorstep by an incredibly stupid yet well-meaning old man. Thus began a cycle that would change the course of magical history, and not necessarily for the better if you ask some.

Our story begins when that boy was five years old.

“Stupid Freak!”

It was not a happy time

“I give you one simple task, clean Dudley’s room and you screw it up.”

It should be noted that Harry did clean Dudley’s room. It should also be noted that it took Dudley all of three seconds to make it look like a natural disaster had struck again. Not that Vernon gave anything resembling a shiny turd.

“Let’s see if another night without supper will make you do your bloody chores!”

Vernon threw the child into his home in the cupboard under the stairs, promptly forgetting about him. If he had been paying attention he may have noticed that he had thrown his nephew into a shelf upon which he had hit his head and was knocked unconscious. He may not have cared, but at least he would have noticed.

Now back in the cupboard Harry was having an interesting experience. Well on the outside he wasn’t doing much more than growing a rather magnificent bruise, but inside he was watching two shadowy figures fight each other. On one side there was a tall thin man with glowing red eyes. His opposite was a woman with long flowing hair. Curious he drew closer to the brawling figures. The man was far more aggressive attacking from every possible angle. But while the woman was on the defensive she still met him blow for blow never giving an inch of ground. But as Harry edged closer the two seemed to realize that they now had an audience. The battle slowed and then stopped as they turned to gape at the small boy watching them. The woman reacted first, dropping to her knees she pulled Harry in for a tight hug.

“Harry” she sobbed into his shoulder

“Who’s Harry?” he asked, for the Dursleys had yet to tell him his name, Boy or Freak was usually suitable for their needs.

“What do you mean, you’re Harry.” She pulled back looking into his eyes

“I am?” He asked

“Yes, why don’t you know that?”

At this point the man decided to remind them he was there “Because that idiot Dumbledore dropped him with a collection of demons masquerading as Muggles.”

“What?” The woman turned a deep shade of red.

“The fat one beats him.” He said while smiling like a shark.

“Are you telling me that Dumbledore ignored my explicit instructions and sent my son to my wizard hating sister?” The woman was working herself into a rage.

“Wizards aren’t real.” the young boy automatically said

This statement caused both of them to freeze in their tracks. The man looked appalled and the woman was working her way to a Vernon like shade of purple.

“Who told you this?” The man said with a dangerous fire in his eyes.

“Uncle Vernon.” the boy said

“THAT BASTARD!” the woman screamed “I’LL CUT HIS TONGUE OUT!”

“I never thought I would say this, but I agree completely.” The man said

The woman looked like she’d been slapped “What?” she said her earlier rage forgotten in the shock.

“You heard me woman, I propose we combine our considerable knowledge and turn those fools into a grease spot.” He said with a flourish.

“Um, who are you?” A rather confused young Harry interjected.

“Oh Harry, I’m your mother. Remember.” She hugged him again.

“Mom,” The boy said “I have a mom.” he couldn’t believe it.

“Well technically you have a remnant of your true mother’s soul, tied to you by the blood magic ritual she used to destroy my body.” The man looked rather disgusted by the affection.

“Shut it, you son of a bitch.” Lily said happily “It’s close enough.”

“What’s your name?” Harry asked the red eyed man.

“I am the greatest dark wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort.” He proclaimed with an expansive gesture.

“Voldy-what?” The boy tried to pronounce the odd name.

“His name is Tom.” Lily supplied

“Don’t call me that you mudblood filth.” Tom said

“There’s the murderous Dark Lord I hate.” Lily smirked “I was worried when I heard you say you agreed with me.”

“I do, you fool.” he sneered “A muggle treating a wizard like that is appalling to me. And you clearly have a problem with it.”

“You can’t just kill my sister!” Lily shouted

“Of course I can’t, I am an incorporeal soul fragment. But I can teach him to do it.” he smiled smugly.  
“You can’t teach my son to kill people.” Lily was livid

“It’s really quite simple, despite his young age I’m sure he would pick it up quickly.”

“That’s not what I meant, you idiot. I mean it’s morally wrong.”

“Morally? I fear I’m unfamiliar with the term. Could you define it for me.”

“Ugh, you are impossible!”

“No I clearly exist within the realm of possibility.” Tom smirked

The conversation quickly devolved back into fighting, while Harry sat back to watch the fireworks he pondered what it would be like to have a mother and a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, everyone really liked that first chapter, I hope you'll like chapter 2. As always thanks to my beta reader Josie Raine.
> 
> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. I'm just borrowing it for a while.

“Sir, we have an issue.” A woman in dark robes informed her boss in one of the many secret offices within the Department of Mysteries.

“What is it? If I find out someone gave the poltergeists shaving cream again,” The Head shuddered “We barely managed to get them back in their room, and we still can’t find Stan.”

“Thankfully no,” The aide also looked quite pale “However the instruments in the Time and Space rooms are producing some very odd readings.”

“How odd?” The Head was quizzical

“The little one that looks like a muggle television grew legs and started doing the can-can.”

“What does it mean?” The Head asked

“Well the last time this happened a blue police box appeared in the brain room,” The aide checked her notes. “Apparently all the brains died due to a ‘deficiency of proper logic’, also someone stole Adam’s lucky fez.”

“So an interdimensional portal is opening, where?” The Head asked

“Somewhere in Surrey.”

 

Vernon Dursley was confused and angry. Granted he was confused and angry on an almost constant basis, but still. Ever since he woke up this morning things had been going wrong. First on his way downstairs for breakfast, he had tripped on one of Dudley’s toy cars sending him on a painful journey headfirst into the fireplace, which thankfully was not lit. After extricating himself he discovered that the stove was broken which meant he was unable to enjoy his preferred breakfast of bacon and eggs. While he was munching on his cereal one of the legs on his chair gave out, bringing him to the floor with a mighty crash. As he left the room, spewing several curses that I will not lower myself by repeating, he failed to notice a pair of green eyes staring at him from the grate in the cupboard door.

“That was great!” Harry declared to his new roommates

“Good to see that fat pig get what’s coming to him.” Lily agreed

“I still think it would be simpler to kill him.” Tom sulked in the corner

The three sat in what Lily had dubbed Harry’s mindscape, which had shifted from a smoky netherrealm to a cozy sitting room. On one of the walls a screen showed what Harry saw to the three eager viewers.

A scream sounded from upstairs

“I think Tuney discovered the beatles we put in her shampoo.” Lily said with a smile

“Honestly this is ridiculous” Tom said “Surely you have better things to do than play pranks on these worthless muggles.”

“Weren’t you the one that suggested we put the mousetraps in Vernon’s shoes?” Harry asked with the innocence only a child could muster.

“Yes, well” Tom cleared his throat. “They were right there, it was obvious.”

“I think you’re going soft, Tom” Lily said “Who would have thought all it would take was one night in the mind of a child.”

The impending argument was thankfully interrupted by a very purple Vernon crashing into the cupboard.

“BOY!” He roared “I don’t know how, but you’ve been doing things.”

“I’ve been here all morning Uncle” Harry said while making himself look very small “How could I have done anything, I was locked in.”

This put Vernon in a difficult position. On one hand he wanted so very much to blame his morning of misfortune on the small child in front of him. On the other hand the only way he could have gotten out was the magic Vernon tried so very hard to ensure the boy never so much as thought about. As the cogs in Vernon’s small mind turned he realized that he was going to be late for work.

“Go do your chores” he snarled before stomping off.

“Harry, dear” Lily said “Move ever so slightly to the left.”

Harry did so, just before Vernon’s foot crashed through the ceiling.

“DAMN IT!”

 

With the aid of his new ride-alongs Harry finished his chores in record time. The three decided to find a secluded place to practice magic.

“Here’s good Harry.” Lily said as they came to a stop in a forest clearing.

“Ah, smell that Muggle free air.” Tom declared “Is it not magnificent?”

“Shut it, you twit,” Lily snapped “Now, Harry you are progressing nicely, you’ve already learned several basic charms and your runes are coming along very well.”

“Yes, and if Death Eaters come for him, he can impress them with his calligraphy.” Tom snarked

“Well what would you teach him?” Lily said

“The arts of combat, how to destroy a squadron of men swiftly and brutally while making it look effortless.” Tom said with a flourish.

“Well for that we'd need a wand,” Lily said “So until we get one we’re stuck with the stuff that works without one.”

“Do you guys hear that?” Harry asked

“I don’t hear anything” Tom said

“It’s like a humming.” Harry insisted

“I hear it too.” Lily said

That’s when the girl fell out of the sky.

 

Unspeakable James Harris was a legend in his field. If something didn’t make sense he was who you called. He had survived over 40 missions, most of which officially never happened. He had faced Wizards, Demons, and creatures so horrible that the mere sight of Them drove ordinary men to complete madness. So naturally when the eggheads in research had located the opening site of the portal they had called him in.

“Sir, the portal has opened” one of the eggheads told him.

“Good,” Harris said with a cocky smile “Let the games begin.”

He really had no idea what he was in for

 

“Well that’s something you don’t see everyday.” Tom remarked with a raised eyebrow

“Shut it, you twit,” Lily snapped “She could be hurt, Harry check her.”

“Yes, Mum.” Harry crept toward the sleeping teenager “Are you alright?”

She suddenly leapt awake, pining Harry to a tree with a knife at his throat.”

“Who are you, Where am I?” she shouted in his face

Now Harry didn’t take very kindly to this intrusion of his personal space, and his magic reacted accordingly. Slinging his assailant away from him and across the clearing.

“Now then, let’s talk without the pointy bits of metal, shall we.” Harry said while pocketing her knife. “To answer your questions, I’m Harry Potter, and you're just outside Little Whinging.”

“Impossible, My father killed you.” The girl stared in shock

“The girl looks very familiar.” Tom said

“Well as I definitely feel quite alive, he didn’t do a very good job of it. Now my turn, who are you?” Harry asked

“I am Emiliana Lestrange, daughter of the greatest dark wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort.”  
“Well, Fuck.” Tom said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to point out that Harry is, at this time, five years old. While Emiliana is around 19. So shipping them together is kinda gross. Some of you will probably do it anyway, but I do not endorse it. I know last time I said Dumbledore would be showing up, but the chapter ran long, so he'll be here next time.
> 
> As always please review, Fun Fact: Nine out of Ten fictional doctors recommend reviews to cure writer's block.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Everything that isn't the plot or an OC belongs to the original creators, not me.
> 
> Well, I apologize for the delay. But sadly I have real life that takes precedence over my little hobbies. As always mega props to my beta-reader Josie Raine. Now please enjoy my weirdness.

“Tommy boy, you should have told me you had children.” Lily prodded

“I don’t” Tom seemed genuinely confused

“Well she seems to disagree, plus she does look like you.”

“No she doesn’t” Tom said indignantly

“Yeah, she does,” Harry said “She has your scary eyes.”

Said scary eyes were currently glaring through a curtain of disheveled dark hair.

“If you don’t quit staring, I’m going to hex your eyeballs out.” She snarled

“Sorry, but Tom doesn’t have kids.” Harry said

“How dare you blaspheme the name of Lord Voldemort!” Emiliana shouted

“He lives in my head, I’ll call him whatever I please.” Harry said

“What?!” she leapt at Harry’s throat. Only to be knocked back by Harry’s magic “You had better tell me what’s going on, or I swear they’ll never find your remains!” she growled.

“Considering she can’t seem to touch you, I doubt she will be able to carry out that threat.” Tom snarked

“Shut it, I’m thinking.” Lily snapped, “Harry ask her what year it is.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Tom said, “Have you gone mad?”

“I believe she may have time travelled.” Lily said “Harry if you would.”

“She has not time travelled you foolish woman, everyone knows that Time Turners can only take you back 48 hours.”

“There are other forms of time travel, the Department of Mysteries has been studying it for centuries.”

“And how would you know this?” Tom asked irritably

“I was an Unspeakable before I went into hiding, I know secrets that would turn your hair white.”

“Fine, ask.” Tom grumbled

“What year do you think it is?” Harry asked

“What does that have to do with anything? Tell me how I got here.” she snapped

“That’s what I’m trying to find out, please tell me.” Harry said

“2015, now why does it matter?”

“Because it’s 1985.”

“Why the hell am I in 1985?!” she shouted

“Ask her if she remembers anything from before she got here.” Lily said “Maybe we can figure this out.”

But before the interrogation could commence a voice rang across the clearing

“Time Traveller, you’ll have to come with us.”

 

Harris was slightly surprised to find that his target was a teenager, but he had seen weirder things on the job so this barely slowed him down. He was James Harris for God’s sake, he wasn’t about to ignore a potential threat just because said threat was a pretty girl. There was also a kid hanging around, but he wouldn’t be an issue.

“Why would I do that?” the girl responded

“Look you can come willingly, or I can bring you in by force. Your choice.” Harris said, trying as hard as possible to be diplomatic.

“Yeah, no.” The girl said “I’ll take my chances.”

“Fine.” Harris shrugged, it was easier this way. “Take her.” He gestured to his men. He would regret saying those words for the rest of his career.

 

“Take her” the man’s words echoed across the clearing. The other men quickly drew wands

“Stop them!” Tom shouted in Harry’s head

“When did you start caring?” Lily asked, genuinely surprised.

“Silence, you insufferable woman! I must know how she came to be here. I can’t very well do that if she is dragged off and experimented on.”

“Um, Mom?” Harry said, understandably terrified of the numerous stunners flying in his general direction.

“Shit” Tom said

“Where’s my fucking wand?!” Emiliana swore, more to herself than to her young companion.

But the stunners never hit. As they neared Harry they suddenly changed course, speeding away from the boy as if struck by a beater bat.

“How are you doing that?” Emiliana asked in awe

“I don’t know.” Harry said

“Well unless you’ve got something else up your sleeve, gimme my knife back. I’m not going down easy.”

Harry tossed her the ornate weapon and she charged the nearest Unspeakable.

“That’s suicidal!” Lily said, “You have to help her.”

“How?” Harry asked frantically.

“I don’t know, just focus. I know you can do it.”

The girl was insane. Harris could respect a healthy amount of crazy, it was a requirement for the job. But charging a group of armed wizards with nothing but a knife, downright suicidal. She was actually doing rather well, having dispatched two of the men. But short of a miracle, she would be overwhelmed. But as he moved to finish the job, the air began to stink of ozone. Clouds rolled in from out of nowhere. Harris noticed that the boy had eyes shut tight, his aura crackled around him. The boy threw his hands in the air and as if on cue the lightning crashed down from the sky and arced straight towards him.

“Shit.”

 

Dumbledore was having a bad day. Poor Argus had been taken hostage by Peeves again. This time he was demanding “this thing the Muggies call Duct Tape.” Dumbledore would have to give him a very stern talking to. It would be Peeves nine hundred and third very stern talking to since Dumbledore had taken the post, but he was quite certain this one would sink in and Peeves would change his ways. On top of that little crisis, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had been hospitalized while trying to clear the Acromantula nest, and would not be returning next year. And on top of everything else, every magic detector he had set up on Privet Drive had suddenly gone off at once. He rushed there to ensure Harry’s safety only to find an interesting sight.

“CUT US DOWN YOU GREAT BEARDED TWAT!” Vernon shouted

“Mr. Dursley what on earth happened here.” Dumbledore surveyed the destroyed living room where the three Dursleys were hanging by their ankles.

“He left, we tried to stop him, we really did. And then he did this. Please get us down.” Petunia whimpered

“What do you mean he left?” Dumbledore was panicking

“He just said that he wouldn’t stay here and left. When Vernon tried to grab him he did this.” she said

“I have to find him.” Dumbledore said. Casting a quick Finite as he left, he pondered what could have caused Harry to want to leave his family like this.

“So where are we going?” Emiliana asked as the two trekked toward the edge of town.

“To meet a friend of my mother’s” Harry said “I called her at the Dursley’s.”

“Remind me why I’m following the boy who nearly killed my father to meet a muggle.” She grumbled

“Nothing’s stopping you from leaving.” Harry shrugged “Do what you want, see if we care.”

Emiliana muttered something vaguely uncomplimentary under her breath, but continued walking behind the small boy.

As they crested a small hill they saw two figures beside a large helicopter.

“Harry!” one of the figures called. As she ran up the hill, Harry noticed that she was a diminutive woman with dark hair, she also appeared to be missing an eyebrow. “I was so happy to get your call, though I was surprised you knew the number.”

“Um” Harry said

“It’s alright Harry, you can tell her” Lily said “Vickie knows about our world, and she’s quite openminded.”

“She told me, Miss Frankenstein.” Harry said “In my head.”

“Hm, how does that work?” Vickie nealt down to peer through Harry’s eyes, as if she could see Lily on the other side if she looked hard enough.

“I don’t know, Tom thinks it could be a side effect of the magic she used to protect me from him.” Harry shrugged “Though that doesn’t explain why he’s in there.”

“Hm, fascinating.” she said

“Look, as interesting as the boy’s head is, can we get going before Dumbledore catches on to us?!” Emiliana snapped

“She is right Mistress” The other figure, a gigantic figure swathed in dark robes, said “The old wizard is not foolish, he will find a way to track the boy.”  
“Right, Adam, you’re right. In the chopper everybody.”

And so Harry flew away from Privet Drive, he would never return there again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time we will be skipping towards Hogwarts where Harry will be better than basically everyone else. I will also be peppering the story with lots of little mini-crossovers, these won't be the main point of the story, but little things that add a bit of flavor to my ridiculous tale, maybe you lot could suggest some?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm back. I would apologize, but I don't feel that sorry. School is insane, and I have no time for anything. As always big thanks to my beta reader Josie Raine.
> 
> Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, who is wonderful and kind for letting lonely nerds like me play with her characters. Also the story is mine, so no stealy stealy.

Excerpt of The Unofficial Biography of Harry Potter by Hermione Granger

No member of the wizarding world would see Harry Potter for the next six years. Dumbledore mounted many searches for him but none bore fruit. Eventually most of the Wizarding World excepted that Harry Potter had vanished and was most likely dead. So when it came time for the Boy-Who-Lived to attend Hogwarts few expected him to make an appearance. Dumbledore sent the letter of course, but not even his staunchest supporters believed it would do any good. But the doubters were to be silenced when the famous child appeared in The Leaky Cauldron on the week before Hogwarts was due to begin. The following are accounts of the fateful day when Harry Potter burst back into magical society.

Tom, Bartender and Owner of the Leaky Cauldron: “O, I remember it like yesterday, I do.” The wizened man says with a toothless smile, “He came in the bar like it was somat he did everyday, swept right past the regulars and straight to the passage. This big burly fella, wrapped head to foot in black robes, following him. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought it was Hagrid, normal folk ain’t that big. But this one, he was quiet, eerie, all swaddled in his darks like the Reaper himself. So he and his eerie-arse friend go straight to the Diagon Passage, not so much as a hello to nobody. But Doris Crockford gets a look at him and goes right off the deep end, screeching about ghosts. This gets everyone's focus and the poor boy gets mobbed. They’re so many people that you can’t even see him. Then there’s this great flash of light, and he’s over by the Passage with this cheeky grin on his face. While we’re all staring gobsmacked he just waves and heads down the passage, Tall, Dark and Eerie following behind.

I think it’s safe to say that Harry’s first five minutes in the Leaky Cauldron were a good indicator of how he would interact with the rest of the Wizarding World. He played a game that only he could see and loved every stinking minute of it. Some would say he hated them, but Harry once told me that he only hated the ones who couldn’t take a joke. So yeah, I guess he hated a fair amount. Purebloods always had a hard time accepting Harry’s unique sense of humor. But that was not the most interesting thing to happen to Harry on that fateful day, not by a long shot. No, that would be what most refer to as the First Potter Incident, There would be 23 successive Potter Incidents at the time of this publication. 

It began when Harry entered Gringotts. He came to the teller desk behind Theodore Nott Sr. Now what happened next is subject to conjecture and speculation as no one was close enough to hear what had been said. But the result was Nott flying off his feet from the powerful punch delivered by Harry. The following are a few eyewitness accounts.

Gregory Parkinson, Pureblood: “Theodore was simply conducting his business when Potter grabbed and assaulted him. It was simply barbaric.”

Tippy, former House-Elf of the Nott family: “Old Master was talking with Teller Goblin, Harry Potter felt that Old Master was being rude to Teller Goblin. So Harry Potter punch Old Master, hard. Tippy enjoyed that, Tippy did.”

Hemtooth, Goblin Teller: “Stupid Humans.”

When asked about the reason for his attack on Mr. Nott, Harry himself responded “He’s an ass.” before vanishing. I get the feeling he doesn’t want me to write this book.

Well, whatever Nott said, I can imagine he swiftly regretted it. But had Harry known what his simple action would cause, he may have chosen differently.

Oh, who are we kidding, he probably would have done it faster.

The goblin Raghook, who was dealing with Nott at the time, was annoyed that Harry had intervened on his behalf. He declared that Harry had insulted his honor and demanded reparations. Everyone agrees on what Harry said next.

“Well come on then you great grumpy gasbag.” He smirked, making a bring it motion with his hands.

Raghook roared in rage, charging over his desk. Having drawn an axe almost as large as he was. Which was cleaving down towards Harry’s unprotected head. Just before the irate goblin sliced him in two Harry moved, twisting out from under the blow like a snake.

“Well that’s hardly sporting,” Harry said mockingly “Attacking an unarmed child, where’s your goblin honor.”

Raghook snarled before charging again. And once more Harry danced out of the way. This time though, he swung a pair of wicked looking daggers at the goblins unprotected back, earning a shallow gash in the tough skin. Raghook actually smiled as he turned around.  
“Good sneak attack...for an impudent boy.” the goblin said

“Aww, I’m touched” the impudent boy said “Shame I don’t have anything nice to say to you. I heard the goblins were a proud warrior race, just my luck I get the one with all the pride and none of the warrior.”

“Hm, I’ll have to teach you manners.” Raghook seemed pleased by this prospect

“Uglier things than you have tried,” Harry said “But please try, I do value the sport.”

At that the battle between Goblin and Boy began in earnest. Harry moved like lightning jumping, spinning and darting under Raghook’s defense. By contrast, Raghook was a rock, taking anything Harry could dish out. The battle seemed incredibly evenly matched. Harry was able to dodge all of Raghook’s blows, and his knives had very little effect on the Goblin’s tough hide.

“Don’t suppose you’ll take a break while I go find a sword?” Harry said

“No, I don’t think so” Raghook smirked

“Well it was worth a shot.” Harry smirked back.

Harry jumped right back into the fight. Working all the harder to make up for his weapon’s lack of effect. He moved like a tornado, daggers spinning right though Raghook’s defense. The goblin fell to his knees, bleeding from a multitude of cuts. His axe clattered to the floor.

“I think I win” Harry said, leaning over the fallen Raghook with a leering grin.

“Hmph, not yet!” Raghook lept to his feet, delivering a staggering right hook. Harry stumbled back, crashing to the ground. Raghook toppled to his knees once more, panting heavily.

“Hm, you’ve got one hell of a punch my little friend.” Harry said

“And here I thought you didn’t have anything nice to say boy.” Raghook said

“Why were we fighting?” Harry asked laughing “I can’t even remember.”

“I felt like you had insulted me when you punched that buffoon, I may have overreacted a bit.”

“I didn’t do it for you, I just wanted to get the line moving.” Harry said

“Ha, of course” Raghook laughed, a harsh grating sound “So shall we get down to business, Master Potter.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Only a Potter would be dumb enough to taunt an irate goblin.”

“Fair Enough”

The two went to the goblins offices. During this time Harry managed to broker the first alliance with the goblins in centuries. This of course angered many of the Pureblood elite, who had tried and failed to form such alliances in the past. When asked why they chose to ally with Harry the goblin chief Ragnok had this to say.

Ragnok, Chieftain of the Gringotts Goblins: “Harry impressed us. He doesn’t treat us any differently than he does anybody else.”

 

But there was still one more interesting encounter to happen to Harry during his first trip to Diagon Alley. His visit to Ollivander’s was, to say the very least interesting. We spoke with the renowned wandmaker to try to figure out what exactly happened when Harry Potter bought his wand.

Garrick Ollivander, Renowned Wandmaker: “The Boy entered my shop late in the day, when the sun was just beginning to set. I’ve sold many great wands at sunset, you know. Both Dumbledore and He-Who-Must-Be-Named purchased their first wands at sunset. It’s an auspicious time. But I digress, He was by far one of the toughest customers I’ve ever had. We went through hundreds of wands, until finally we came to one I was sure would work. It was a Holly wand, 11 inches with a Phoenix core. The feather came from Dumbledore’s Phoenix and shared a brother with the wand of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But it was not to be. I’m not even sure how it happened. As he waved it, the wand seemed to sputter as though it was having trouble creating the magic. I’ll admit I was a bit perplexed, it’s like it should have worked but something stopped it from doing so. I was running out of wands, and honestly becoming a bit nervous. If I didn’t have a wand for the Boy-Who-Lived, my reputation would be ruined. In my desperation, I did something I had sworn not to do. I brought out a wand created by my Great-Grandfather decades ago. It was a wand created, more to prove that it could be created, rather than to be used. The wood had come from an extraordinarily violent Whomping Willow, retrieving it had cost my Grandfather one of his legs. It was 13 inches long, Thirteen being a powerfully unlucky number. But the most dangerous part was the core. A hair from a young unicorn still gold in color, suspended in a solution of Basilisk Venom and Nundu Blood. My grandfather had somehow Married these chaotic ingredients into a single wand. But the test of it killed him, and almost obliterated our shop off the face of the earth. As I brought this wand to the boy I questioned myself constantly, my rational side begging me to return the wand to it’s locked box. But in my core I knew that it was the one. And I was right. The fact that the Wand that chose young Master Potter was also the most dangerous wand ever created troubles me, yet I do believe it shall go on to do great things.”

Well Ollivander was correct, Harry would go on to do many fantastic things with that wand. He carried it all the way through the years, and I’ll say it served him well. But the wild life of Harry Potter was just beginning, he would go on to become one of the most famous wizards in the history of our world. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please review, and tell me if the liked the excerpt format. Cause I may like to reuse it. Plus I'm thinking of some new stories. So stay tuned.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back guys. I'm sorry I've been gone so long. But I'm back and hopefully won't have to go away for a while. As always big thanks to my Beta Reader Josie Raine
> 
> Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, I own the story and OCs. Don't steal because stealing is wrong.

“Why a train?” Dan Granger wondered “I mean it’s a magic school, why not a magic carpet or something?”

“Dad, Magic Carpets are illegal” Hermione said

“Well how was I supposed to know that?”

“Go easy on your dad sweetheart.” Emma Granger said, “This is all very new to us.”

“Well it’s all very exciting isn’t it. Magic?” Hermione said

“Yes dear, we’re hoping you can finally make some friends” said

“Maybe”

 

“Same every year, packed with muggles of course.” Molly Weasley said

“Well yeah, it’s their train station isn’t it. Also you really shouldn’t say muggle in public. What if they overhear?” a boy said from behind her

She jumped “Young man, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Just trying to find the platform” he said sheepishly

“Oh, of course dearie. First year aren’t you. It’s alright it’s Ron’s first time to Hogwarts.” She gestured to one of the smaller redheads.

“Are you Harry Potter?” Ginny suddenly asked

“Ginny!” Molly scolded her

“It’s alright,” he said “As a matter of fact I am Harry Potter.” he gave an easy smile. “I feel I’m at a bit of a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

“I’m Ginny Weasley” she said smiling back

“Weasley? Any relation to a Chuck Weasley?”

“One of my brothers is named Charlie.”  
“Ah yes that’s it. Nice chap, good with the dragons”

“How do you know about that?” Molly asked

“That’s a trade secret, can’t say.” He said

“Ah, come on.” “That’s not fair.” The twins said

“How so?” Harry raised an eyebrow

“You can’t just say something like that and clam up.” “Now we’re gonna be wondering about it for ages.” “You’ve gotta tell us something!”

“Hm, alright.” Harry rummaged around in his pockets until he found a heavy coinpurse. He withdrew a Galleon from it and waved it in front of the twins with a flourish. “If you can get this Galleon by the time the train arrives in Hogsmeade, I’ll tell you everything.” With that he ran off through the barrier.

 

Hermione had been on trains before, that wasn’t the issue. She’d never been on a train alone before though, and it was making her nervous. She wondered who would sit in her compartment. Would they be friendly, would they like books and intelligent conversation. Or would they pull her hair, insult her teeth and call her names. As she thought she rummaged around in her trunk trying to find a book she hadn’t read yet. While her back was turned the door to the compartment opened. A blonde boy walked in, shadowed by two larger boys.

“Get out” the blonde one said with a sneer

“I beg your pardon” Hermione said shocked

“This is my compartment” He said, looking at her like she was an idiot “Get out.”

“Well I didn’t see a sign on it” she said, crossing her arms “The Conductor said we can have any compartment we want.”

“Well, I want this one. Do you have any idea who I am?” he somehow managed to sneer even harder.

“Should I?” she asked, starting to get nervous.  
“I’m Draco Malfoy, Heir to the most important family in Magical Britain. You must be a filthy mudblood if you don’t know that.”

Hermione was shocked, how could the first person she met be so terrible

“People like you shouldn’t even have magic” he went on, getting into a rant “My ancestors had castles while your kind was still living in the dirt. You shouldn’t even be here. What right have you to the secrets of magic.” He had pulled his wand as Hermione continued to shrink into herself. “Proper wizards shouldn’t even have to be seen around filth like you. I know, we’ll show them what you are so they know to stay away.” 

Hermione flinched away as he pointed his wand at her.

“Put that away.” A new voice snapped from across the compartment. Hermione looked over to see a boy with shaggy black hair standing in the doorway.

“Who are you to tell me what to do.” Draco snapped back, as he turned to point his wand at the newcomer.

“Ah, of course. Introductions. I’m Harry Potter,” He gave a predatory smile, “and if you don’t stop pointing that at me we’re going to have a problem.”

“Are you threatening me?” Draco blustered

“No, I don’t make threats. Only idiots make threats,” Harry said calmly. “You’re still pointing the wand at me.”

He suddenly moved forward so fast Hermione wasn’t even sure he moved at all. Draco howled and clutched his wand hand. Harry smirked and twirled Draco’s wand in his fingers.

“Now take your shaved apes and go away.” Harry said before tossing Draco’s wand outside.

The three shuffled outside, Draco glaring at Harry as he left. Harry snapped the door shut behind them and turned to Hermione

“Asshole” he muttered “You okay?”  
“I think so,” she sniffed “Why would he do that? I didn’t do anything.”

“He did it because he’s an asshole, from a family of assholes. Don’t worry about him. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything else.”

“How? He said he’s important.”

“So am I, I’m Harry Potter, I killed a dark lord when I was a baby. I can handle Malfoy. Come on let's go find the candy lady. Everything feels better when you’re sharing candy with a friend.”

“We’re friends?” Hermione asked shocked by his acceptance

“Of course, why wouldn’t we be.” He smiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to have the next chapter finished quick. If you are starved for my wonderful writing you can read my new story All Things Truly Wicked, it's a story about Loki everyone loves Loki right?
> 
> Please review, follow and favorite. It would make me happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like it greatly if you would review, reviews are bribes for fanfic writers. The more you give me the more I want to finish your favorite stories.
> 
> Next Time on Voices in My Head: Harry, Tom, and Lily torment the Dursleys, Harry makes a new friend, and Dumbledore starts to realize he's made a massive mistake.
> 
> Also check out my other story The Prisoner will you.


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